Sex Videos and Tutorial

Clitoris Many women need clitoral stimulation during sex and many men have no idea where to find it. So there are a couple of things that need to be sorted out here.

It’s not a mysterious hooded character (well, in a way it is, but more of that later) that proves to be utterly elusive and only found by previous partners, however, if you can’t find it, ask. For those requiring directions, it’s a small pink bud situated within the outer labia (vaginal lips) above the entry to the vagina.

Although all you can see is a small pink bud, beneath it is a mass of erectile tissue and the base of the clitoris is often the best place to aim for rather than heading straight to the top which, to refer back a second, is directly under the clitoral hood.

Gently kneading the outer labia lips with two fingers is a good way to start and then move on to rotating your fingers around the top of the clitoris (this works equally well with your tongue or a vibrator). Take your time; many women don’t actually like full on, direct clitoral stimulation. If she does want more direct stimulation she’ll open her legs, push against your hand or raise her pelvis.

You can also gently ‘pull’ the clitoris between two fingers – you’re not actually pulling it as it’s generally rather difficult to get hold of, but it feels sensational. As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris can disappear from view, hidden by the swollen vaginal lips but it’s still there, don’t ignore it.

Clitoral stimulation, combined with a touch of G-spot stroking is almost guaranteed to do the trick so ladies, encourage your partners; and partners – you know what to do.

The G-spot The G spot is one of the high spots of many a love-making experience. It was discovered in 1950 but unlike most newly-discovered areas, this one wasn’t found by your typical beardy explorer with gangrene and frostbite.

Gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg is the chap: he found a highly erogenous zone inside the vagina that gets bigger when directly stimulated. This discovery caused quite a sensation, as you can imagine, but his revelation was doubted for quite some time.

The male G spot is the prostate gland (more of that later) but the female one is still under debate by many and not all ladies seem to have one. However, it’s worth looking for so read on…

Ladies, you can look for it yourself or have someone look for you – either way the first stimulation of the G-spot can be quite uncomfortable. Empty your bladder first and try to relax into the sensation as the feeling should pass. And make sure your vagina is well lubricated.

The easiest position to find your G-spot yourself is to squat on the loo. Insert your finger into your vagina, curving it towards your navel. Feeling around should cause the G-spot to swell and make it easier to pinpoint. The considered view states that it is around the size of a large pea (not the large pee you had just beforehand).

Now it’s time for someone else to have a go: lie down on your back, knees bent and have a small pillow under your buttocks. The rest of it’s pretty much the same as above – make sure you let your partner know when they’ve found it.

Stimulating the G-spot can cause ladies to ejaculate a small amount of white or clear fluid and, combined with clitoral stimulation, can prove to be the most satisfying of orgasms. The ‘doggy’ position is the best for G-spot stimulation as the front wall of the vagina receives more pressure this way.

Gentlemen – yes, you have a G-spot too. It’s quite hard for you to find your own what with it being up your rectum but those of you supple and brave enough to try should attempt the following: lie on your back with knees bent and feet on the floor (if this proves unsuccessful, try drawing your knees up to your chest).

Using plenty of lubricant put in your thumb and press it against the front wall of the rectum. However, it’s much easier if you get someone to find it for you. Assume the same position and get your partner to insert a lubricated finger, feeling up the front wall of the rectum until they touch something that feels like a walnut.

Bingo! You can now start massaging firmly in a downward direction. Many men claim that G-spot orgasms are more intense and that rather than ejaculating in spurts, they produce a continuous stream.

So there you go: wash your hands, apply some lubricant and away you go. It’s always advisable to wash hands again if they have been inside a rectum as you can inadvertently transfer bacteria to other parts of your or their body afterwards. Don’t be shy – it’s worth a look and could change your sex life!

Masturbation Rarely discussed and often practised. 94% of men do it and 80% of women do it – although men do it twice as often as women. These figures drop only slightly after marriage – men at 72% and women at 68%. So there you go – it’s all around you.

There’s no real need to explain how to do it to yourself nor is there really any need to describe how to do it to your partner – ask them to show you. This can be very erotic, indeed it is the fuel of many a male fantasy, and can shake off many inhibitions.

Start by showing each other one technique that you use on yourself and then give your partner a go. You can use masturbation to bring your partner to climax or take them only part of the way and move on to another activity. It can also be a good way of learning about your own sexual responses – learning how to postpone ejaculation during masturbation, for example, can make men better lovers.

Lubricants can aid masturbation as can dildos – the only limits are your imagination. When you’re on your own it allows for the wildest fantasies and when you’re with your partner it shows them just how you like to be touched.

Tantric sex, in brief, is based on the male partner using his PC muscles (the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine) to delay orgasm. The practice is said to come from Buddhist folklore.

As tantric practice become known in western culture — a development that started at the end of of the 18th century, and that has escalated since the 1960s — it has become identified with its sexual methods. Consequently, its essential nature as spiritual practice is often overlooked. The roles of sexuality in Tantra and in Neotantra, while related, are actually quite different, reflecting substantial differences in their cultural contexts.

In Neotantra the most important features of sexual practice revolve around the experience of subtle energies within our sensual embodiment, and the accessing of these energies both to enhance pleasure and to challenge our egotism into its dissolution. Thus, tantric sexuality often cultivates ecstatic consciousness as well as increased spiritual awareness of the erotic consciousness that pervades our human embodiment as well as everything that contextualizes this embodiment.

Tantric sexual methods may be practiced solo, in partnership, or occasionally in the sacred rituals of groups. The specifics of these methods are often kept secret, and passed from practitioners to students in an oral tradition. It must be remembered that genuine tantric spiritual practice is merely one aspect of a comprehensive spiritual path of meditation — and that the sexual and erotic aspects of tantra cannot be authentically engaged without adequate preparation and discipline.

In sum, tantric sexuality is just one dimension of a spiritual path that is devoted and dedicated to the challenge of becoming aware, in every moment of our embodied lives, of the supreme flow of the sacred lifeforce itself — the Sacred Unity of Love.

In Vajrayana Buddhism tantric sexual practice (Sanskrit: Maithuna, cf. Tibetan:Yab-Yum) is one aspect of the last stage of the initiate’s spiritual path, where s/he, having already realised the voidness of all things, attains enlightenment and perpetual bliss^[1]. Within the Tibetan tradition the role of such practices has always been somewhat controversial, since they lend themselves to abuse, and is therefore often shrouded in secrecy. ^[2] In addition, the sexual practices would violate a Buddhist monk’s or nun’s vow of celibacy.