Fantasies Everyone has sexual fantasies and there’s nothing wrong with them… as long as you recognise them as fantasies.
Acting out certain fantasies can add spice to a relationship and keeping some fantasies under wraps can avoid many tricky situations. Remember fantasies are only that: fantasies, for example many people have fantasies about going to bed with someone of the same sex – this does not necessarily mean that they are gay.
Fantasising during masturbation is completely normal; after all, you’re on your own… usually. Fantasising during sex is very common – thinking about sleeping with someone other than your partner whilst in bed is not being unfaithful. Carrying that one out, however, is.
If you do want to act out a fantasy with your partner, tread gently. It really depends on the relationship – how long you’ve been together, how well you know each other – as to how you broach the subject. Suggesting a really outlandish fantasy to a new partner could just mean they run off screaming… and tell all your friends about it.
Some of the most common and easily suggested fantasies involve pretending that you’ve just met and this is the first time you’ve had sex together. Many men like their women to pretend it’s the first time they’ve ever had sex at all. Many involve power – for example, mistress and servant – that can be a precursor to activities like bondage.
The most important thing to remember is to discuss the fantasy first. If being spanked and begging for someone to stop doing it is what you’re into, make sure your partner knows when you really mean ’stop’ as the whole point is to bring pleasure and not cause distress.
So let your imagination run riot – just because you’re grown-up doesn’t mean you should stop playing games.
