Oral Sex: Fellatio Right – let’s explode a myth: blow jobs do not involve blowing… unless from a distance. Please don’t try and blow down his penis, it’s not a good thing to do.

OK? Now then, the penis is almost as sensitive as the inside of the vagina and so tugging hard on the foreskin or biting (unless it’s requested) is not a good idea. Also, get to know what you’re doing: bobbing your head around just for the sake of it will achieve very little.

Finally, decide in advance whether you are going to spit, swallow, or allow your partner to ejaculate over you – the choice is yours. Of course, most men will prefer it if you swallow but don’t worry if you don’t fancy that, it’s entirely up to you – let him know what you’re going to do.

To give the best fellatio he’s ever had, do as follows…

Right, first things first: begin with lots of foreplay. Try something like a massage, if you have long hair use it to tease him. When you’re ready to move south, remember to kiss, lick and caress him all the way down to his toes. Take your time; tease him as you pass his penis and genitals on the way down and on the way back up. Make sure he is fully erect before your mouth goes anywhere near his penis.

Next, try masturbating him – keep one hand at the bottom of his shaft (the base of the penis) and use your other hand to arouse other parts of his body such as his anus and perineum, his testicles and his nipples.

When you’re ready to move on to oral sex, the basic technique you should adopt is to masturbate the penis by sliding your hand up and down the penis, closing it slightly when you reach the top and opening it slightly as you move back down. All the while keep his penis moving in and out of your mouth (lips covering teeth) which should be applying a firm but comfortable pressure. If he’s uncircumcised, do not tug or yank his foreskin just make sure it slides up and over the penile head.

When you’ve got the hang of the basic technique, take a good firm grip and accentuate your tongue movements. Lick his penis as if it were a lollypop, using long slow movements over the head and up the sides. Cover your teeth with your lips and give him a couple of ‘lip pinches’ (biting without using your teeth). Use lots of saliva, the more lubricated the penis, the better it feels. Finally, take his penis into your mouth and swirl your tongue around the head.

By keeping one hand on the shaft of his penis, you prevent him from gagging you and you control how deeply you take it into you mouth. Deep throating is where you take the whole penis into your mouth rather than keeping a hand or two on it. This can be very difficult and uncomfortable, resulting in gagging – in general, only the very experienced can do this and the head of the penis is the most sensitive part anyway so that’s the most important bit.

Tease your partner by changing the speed, get him really aroused by moving faster and sucking harder and then slow down so that he does not reach orgasm. Stop altogether and concentrate all of your attention on one of the areas that you had been arousing with your other hand, then, go back to the penis and tease him some more. Take him to the very brink of orgasm (not easy) and then slow him down. Enjoy it (he will), you are in complete control.

Atmosphere It is argued by many that ambience plays just as big a part in a love making experience as any other aspect of sex and yet it is often completely overlooked.

The key to creating the right atmosphere is to think about the five senses and try to create an atmosphere that appeals to all of them. Now, obviously if you just fancy a ‘quickie’ in the back of a Ford Cortina then you’re unlikely to care about stimulating the senses but if you do care about the atmosphere in which you’re having sex then read on for some great ideas…

Beginning with touch, it is important to make sure that the environment in which you are making love is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Think about the basics such as bed linen and then use your imagination a little and explore the use of sex toys or touchy-feely stuff like feathers. Also, remember that food such as whipped cream or chocolate sauce can be a very tasty addition to the experience. Finally, if your partner is willing and their pain threshold is pretty high, then take their senses to the extreme using ice or hot candle wax (be very careful).

To appeal to your partner’s sense of smell, try burning some scented candles. Just make sure that you don’t go overboard and stink the place out or burn it down; you don’t want the flames of passion to be interrupted by a fireman’s hose. If candles aren’t your thing then try flowers instead; they’re more subtle but they will help make any room smell nice. Finally, don’t forget to make sure that you are smelling your best – try sharing a shower with your partner before making love or just keep it simple and use some deodorant.

Now then, taste – the hardest of the five senses to affect when it comes to making love but while we’re on the subject did you know that you can actually change the taste of semen? Well, you can; the trick is to change what you eat and drink before making love. As a general rule, bland foods like pasta and potatoes improve the taste of sperm whereas curry, beer and coffee produce the worst taste. Obviously taste needn’t just be about bodily fluids; you can also introduce food and drink into a lovemaking experience. It’s unlikely that a cheese and pickle sandwich will do much to turn your partner on but edible underwear or chocolate flavoured body paint may do the trick.

The one sense that everyone is well aware of is sight. Whether it be the sexy underwear, candle light or body image, everyone is very aware of the visual aspect of sex. But, how many of you consider changing the actual place in which you have sex? Well, for a great psychological kick, try changing your location. Try a ‘69er’ in the car, ‘doggy style’ on your way home from a night out or try the ‘wheelbarrow’ in the garden (just be careful to avoid the roses!). Alternatively, give the idea some thought and you’ll soon realise that there’s a world of opportunity outside your bedroom.

The final sense is that of hearing and the obvious way to appeal to this sense is through music. Whether it be the ‘walrus of soul’ Mr Barry White or the artist formerly known as Prince, almost everyone has a favourite artist that will ‘get them in the mood’. The key is to find out what does it for your partner. When your pretty sure you’ve made the right choice (avoid hard house and heavy metal) put the CD, tape or whatever on loop (you don’t want to stop mid session to restart the music). If you don’t like music then try talking ‘dirty’ instead or perhaps even use video pornography if that works for you.

Ahh, control. Sometimes it seems that sex is all about control, and so much of that sexual control is all about the man, and how he exercises it. That is what makes women-on-top positions so revolutionary in some ways. It is a chance for both parties to switch roles and try something new.

Having your women on top can take many different forms, all of which are discussed in the following sections, but what makes the biggest difference from other sexual positions is the control that the women have in these sexual endeavors. There is a general assumption that men have all the power in sex and that practicing women-dominant sexual position is somehow a completely female power issue. But if you look more closely it is clearly noted that in many ways giving up some of the responsibility for pleasure in bed can give men a break, and a chance to lie back and enjoy the ride. Instead of worrying about lasting and thrusting and making sure that your women orgasms, being on the bottom and in a less active role, can let men focus on their breathing and their pleasure.

At precisely the same moment this means that women, who, for the most part have always been at the mercy of their lover to achieve pleasure, can charge forward in search of their orgasm. They can position their lover’s penis so that it hits all their hot spots, or so that they can grind their man’s pelvis against their clitoris. By taking control of their sexuality women can sometimes be able to enjoy it more and more likely get what they are looking for from the sexual experiences. Women on our panel have suggested that a man that loves to ridden or at least enjoys more women dominated sexual positions, can gain access to secret sexual desires far more than a selfish lover. Listen up boys, this is for you as much as it is for her.

Acrobat Sex Position

An extreme form of the rodeo position, the acrobat is a very intimate transition from its more common cousin. The easiest way to get into the acrobat position is to have the giver lie down on their back then have their partner lie down backwards from the rodeo position. One side note; unlike the rodeo position, the acrobat requires the giver to take over stroking duties.

Cowgirl Sex Position

A great modification of the armchair position, fusion allows for much greater penetration mobility, and thus increases the pleasure. To get into the position, the giver sits in a straight legged position while their partner sits on top of them while leaning back. Although it tends to tire the arms of the receiver, the position is a blast while their muscles are still fresh.

Asian Cowgirl Sex Position

The Asian cow girl position is basically the same position as the regular cowgirl except that the receiver, plants their feet instead of kneeling. Although not a big deal for the young and nimble, this position can be extremely difficult and tiring for many receivers, so their partner should offer some support using their hands whenever possible. A very popular twist to the regular cow girl position, it is definitely a must try for those that can!

Inverted Missionary Sex Position

The inverted missionary is exactly what it sounds like, the missionary position with the receiver on top and the giver on top. Getting into the position is very easy; the giver just lies back on the bed and has the receiver lay on top of them. Variations in the positioning of the receiver’s upper body can also allow for body kissing, breasts, neck, or sternum, so feel free to move around and experiment.

Rodeo Sex Position

If you and your partner have struggled with slipping out in the cowgirl position, then the “reversed grain” of the rodeo should reduce this irritating occurrence at the possible expense of clitoral stimulation. In a quick nutshell, the rodeo position is simply cowgirl with the receiver facing the opposite way the receiver. Although the receiver no longer presents their breasts / chest to their partner for easy access, they provide great access and a great view to the receiver’s rear end.

Seesaw Sex Position

A very intimate position, the seesaw will definitely bring you and your partner closer. To get into this position, the giver sits up with his legs straight while their partner sits on top of them with legs planted on either side. Although movement is limited, don’t underestimate the passion that can be experienced using it.

If you ever needed a reason to do those push ups that you said you were going to do after new years, or go to the gym more often or even get to that strange yoga class your mom keeps telling you about, here it is. Standing positions in sex can be some of the most enjoyable and most athletic aspects of sexual relations that you may engage in. This is certainly the more advanced part of sex and at the same time can be made easy with some easy attention paid to exercise and health.

Someone on our staff once asked me: “why would I want to go through all that work having sex while standing up, when I enjoy it lying down just fine!” Well, there is a lot of validity to this question. Why bother? Spontaneity is one good reason. Practicing upright sex opens the door to fooling around with your lover in a deserted bus stop, the bathroom at your favorite restaurant or even at 30 000 feet in a lavatory.

Aside from spontaneous sex our panel of women experts all agreed that having sex with a man that can have sex standing up means that changing positions for other types of sex becomes much easier. If you understand how to lift and shift and thrust then you will be far more comfortable maneuvering your lover about a session of sexual enjoyment. There is lots of sensuality in throwing a lover around the room, and being able to get rough against the wall, or even hold her off the ground while you have sex. The increase in blood flow from this type of athletic sex can be incredibly stimulating and erotic. It also can make men feel powerful and make women feel engulfed, these power relations can give a whole new dynamic to your sex life.

For whatever reason standing sex appeals to you, whether it be more exercise, greater sexual improvisation, or even just to make sex more fun, it is one more feather to add to the adventurous lover’s cap.

Stand up for your rights, I promise you won’t regret it.

Bodyguard Sex Position

The bodyguard is a rear-entry position with all the intensity of doggy style, with the connectivity of a side-by-side position, and with the eroticism that comes with the uniqueness of all of the standing positions. To get in this position, the receiver simply stands in front and is penetrated from behind.

This position is especially good in allowing both partners access to touch and caress each other’s bodies, so make sure to keep those hands occupied! The only difficult part of this sex position is aligning the genitals… which can be quite a problem for some couples. The easiest fixes are: standing on a stair, foot stool, couch cushion, or if you are up to it, maybe some heels.

Dancer Sex Position

A unique twist on the missionary position, the dancer is a lot of fun if you are looking for something with more face to face contact. Both partners simply stand facing each other, the receiver raises one of their legs to give easier access while their partner helps support it. If the receiver is very flexible, you may want to try putting the raised leg onto the shoulder of the giver for an even more erotic experience.

Stand and Carry Sex Position

This is not for the feint of heart, or arm, or legs, or back, so… if the giver is middle aged and not in great shape, then may want to skip this position. There are two common ways to get into the stand and carry position; the safer being to stand into it from a position like delight and the more difficult method is to get into it from a standing position like the dancer. Which ever method you choose, remember to stay within your limits as one joy ride isn’t worth the rest of your life with back problems!