Sex Videos and Tutorial

Mons veneris: Latin for “hill of Venus” (Roman Goddess of love), this is the area of fatty tissue that covers the pubic bone below the abdomen but above the labia. The mons is sexually sensitive in some women and protects the pubic bone from the impact of sexual intercourse. This is the region that contains the familiar and typical “triangle” of pubic hair above the vulva.

Clitoral hood: This is the “hood” of flesh that partially or fully covers the unstimulated clitoris. It serves to protect the sensitive treasure beneath.

Clitoris: This is the small white or light pink oval between the top of the labia minora and the clitoral hood. It is a small body of smooth spongy tissue that is highly sexually sensitive, containing around 8,000 nerve endings all tightly packed together. Compare this with the male penis, which contains about 4,000 nerve endings, and is much larger. The clitoris is protected by the prepuce, or clitoral hood, a covering of tissue similar to the labia minora. During sexual excitement, the clitoris may erect and the hood will retract to make the clitoris more accessible. Some clitori are very small; other women may have large clitori that the hood does not completely cover. A peanut-sized clitoris is considered large.

Labia Majora: The labia majora are the outer lips of the vulva, pads of fatty tissue that wrap around the vulva from top to bottom around the mons to the perineum. These labia are usually covered with pubic hair, and contain numerous sweat and oil glands, and it has been suggested that the scent from these are sexually arousing.

Urethra: The opening to the urethra is just below the clitoris. It is not related to sex or reproduction, but it’s where urine is expelled from the body. The urethra is connected to the bladder. Because the urethra is so close to the anus, women should always wipe themselves from front to back to avoid infecting the vagina and urethra with bacteria.

Labia Minora: The labia minora are the inner lips of the vulva, thin stretches of tissue directly inside of the labia majora that fold and protect the vagina, urethra, and clitoris. The appearance of labia minora can vary widely, from tiny lips that hide between the labia majora to large lips that protrude. The most common metaphor for the labia minora is that of a flower. Both the inner and outer labia are quite sensitive to touch and pressure, and they are highly elastic in some women. The labia minora are analogous to the male testicle sack, or scrotum, and they have the same sensitivity.

Vagina: The vagina extends from the vaginal opening to the cervix, the opening to the uterus. The vagina serves as the receptacle for the penis during sexual intercourse, and as the birth canal through which the baby passes during labor. The average vaginal canal is three inches long, possibly four in women who have given birth. This may seem short in relation to the penis, but during sexual arousal the cervix will lift upwards and the fornix may extend upwards into the body as long as necessary to receive the penis. After intercourse, the contraction of the vagina will allow the cervix to rest inside the fornix, which in its relaxed state is a bowl-shaped fitting perfect for the pooling of semen.

Perineum: The perineum is the short stretch of skin starting at the bottom of the vulva and extending to the anus. The perineum in women often tears during birth to accommodate passage of the child, and this is apparently natural. Nevertheless, the perineum is highly sensitive and can be a source of pleasure during foreplay and intercourse for both men and women.

Anus: The anus, or butthole, is where solid waste exits the body. While not connected to reproduction, the anus is still very highly sensitive to touch and can be a source of great pleasure.

The following guide to the internal female genitalia features a drawing:

Fallopian tube: This is either of a pair of slender ducts through which ova pass from the ovaries to the uterus during the menstrual cycle.

G-Spot: In the illustration above, what is indicated as the g-spot in fact points to a region known as the Skenes glands, the purpose of which are unknown. Despite the surrounding controversy of its existence, one fact remains- there are many women who claim that pressure on this region of the vagina is extremely pleasurable. Usually, two fingers are used, and because the spot is deep within the tissue, some pressure may be needed. Also, because the Skenes glands are alongside the bladder, some women may found that the increased pressure makes them feel as if they need to urinate.

Ovaries: The ovaries perform two functions: the production of estrogen and progesterone, the female sex hormones, and the production of mature ova, or eggs. At birth, the ovaries contain nearly 400,000 ova, and those are all she will ever have. However, that is far more than she will need, since during an average lifespan she will go through about 500 menstrual cycles. After maturing, the single egg travels down the fallopian tube, a journey of three or four days– this is the period during which a woman is fertile and pregnancy may occur. Eggs that are not fertilized are expelled during menstruation.

Uterus: The uterus, or womb, is the main female internal reproductive organ. The inner lining of the uterus is called the endometrium, which grows and changes during the menstrual cycle to prepare to receive a fertilized egg, and sheds a layer at the end of every menstrual cycle if fertilization does not happen. The uterus is lined with powerful muscles to push the child out during labor.

Fornix: This is the top inside of the vagina that extends slightly above and around the top and bottom of the cervix. During intercourse, this region balloons upwards to fully receive the thrusting penis.

Cervix: The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It varies in diameter from 1 to 3 millimeters, depending upon the time in the menstrual cycle the measurement is taken. The cervix is sometimes plugged with cervical mucous to protect the cervix from infection; during ovulation, this mucous becomes a thin fluid to permit the passage of sperm.

NOT UNDERSTANDING NATURAL SEXUAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE. Mike Mason, in his masterpiece The Mystery of Marriage, writes, “When people forget that the opposite sex is opposite, it can result in men actually resenting women for not being men, and vice versa.” Do you ignore the fact that your wife needs cuddling and romance separate from the sexual act? Do you ignore the fact that your husband is visually stimulated and would prefer you to be the cause?

Married sex is not about loving any woman or any man. It is about showing love to this woman, this man. What does that mean? Only they can show you, and that often comes as they are learning themselves. A loving, listening, open heart is the greatest asset a spouse can bring to bed.

SELFISHNESS. “What the sex life really demands is the loving gift of the self, the sincere devotion of the whole heart.” Look at the words Mike Mason uses in that quote: gift, sincere, devotion, whole heart. These words clash with the self-centeredness that says, “it’s all about ME and what I feel.”

What gift can you give your spouse physically? How can they know that you are sincere and not just being manipulative? Does your spouse know that you are devoted to him or her both in and out of bed?

GUILT for real actions or perceived things, stops sex. True guilt for something done requires honest discussion, true repentance, and real forgiveness–and a deliberate removal of the thing that divides two spouses from each other.

False guilt can also inhibit sexual response. That elusive guilt requires an examination of the thing causing the guilt–often inappropriate expectations or beliefs. These need to be dismantled, and replaced when necessary.

EMOTIONAL DISTANCE, ANGER, OR RESENTMENT. These can be caused by any number of things. But the fundamental truths remain. When the underlying causes are addressed, the pressure these emotions put on a couple’s sexual life will recede. However, when a couple ignores the basic daily work necessary for good relationship, that lack will affect their sexual life.

We humans are minds and bodies and we bring both to the marriage relationship and to the marriage bed. As a couple’s mental and emotional intimacy deepens and grows, their physical intimacy deepens and grows as well.

Sex In marriage Part 1 

Married sex is sex that involves two whole people with their thoughts, emotions, and bodies in a state of delightful, committed physical intimacy. The entire point of the sexual act lies in loving each other. In the marriage bed, we don’t “make love,” we give love, physically, to our spouses.

It’s not surprising, then, that the same things that interfere with mental and emotional love, can also interfere with sex and the sexual response. Common culprits include:

ANXIETY. It is hard to be naked and vulnerable when you are nervous around your spouse for any reason. Think of it. If you belittle your spouse or make fun of them in any way, why would they be eager to hop in bed with you? But when a spouse feels secure in the marriage–feels that this relationship and this person is a place of emotional and physical safety–the instinct to cover and hide will fade away.

When a person is anxious for a reason that has nothing to do with the marriage, that anxiety can still interfere with the sexual relationship. Fear makes the necessary relaxation impossible. So can a situation, project, or decision that dominates one spouse’s mind. In all cases, the cause of the anxiety needs to be addressed first, to remove the block to sex.

FATIGUE. A wise couple will monitor the outside demands on their time and energy, and work to make sure they have time and energy for each other. They do something as simple as go to bed earlier, or even midday when they can, or have sex first thing in the morning.

Some seasons of life are exceptionally stressful. A young married couple with small children is caught between the stressors of a young man’s high sex drive and the monumental exhaustion that comes from the wife’s role as mother of small children. If this is you:

• First, avoid blaming each other. Face this problem together.
• Change the pattern of your life–radically if you need to (and I don’t mean giving away the children!) for the sake of your marriage. Cut outside commitments and in-home expectations in order to give yourselves more energy and time together.
• Keep up and work hard on all the other aspects of your relationship.
• Make sure each of you are doing a fair share of the child-rearing.
• Hire a babysitter or exchange free babysitting with friends in order to have time alone.
• Keep a sense of humor as much as possible. This is a situation that many, many couples have to work through, not just you. You’ll make it through.

Fingering is the grand art of masturbating your woman’s vagina with your own fingers. See our Female Anatomy guide for a detailed diagram of the female genitals. It involves much more than just sticking them inside her and moving them around.

The most important thing you can have when going into something new is knowledge. It’s also very, very important to have a partner who can talk to you about this and give you instruction during the act and afterwards. This way, you can both learn more about each other’s intimate perks, secrets, and desires. You’ll also find that if you make her happy, you’ll be happier as well. It should be noted that the guide that follows is one example of guidelines. These specific techniques aren’t necessarily going to work for all women. You’ll honestly need to consult with your partner on what works and what doesn’t, but these will be some starting tips. Just remember to keep the communication channels open, and don’t be afraid to add a little variety.

First, when rubbing her clit, up-and-down motions usually work better than side-to-side or circular. Sure, you can use the latter two to vary it every now and then, but, on the whole (whether fingering or using your tongue), up and down on the clitoris usually works best.

When actually using a finger or two inside of her (I’d suggest one for tighter girls–you CAN fit two, usually, but you lose a lot of maneuverability, and she’ll be sore afterward), one of the better motions I’ve found is to push your finger all the way in, then bend it slightly when pulling it out, so it scrapes against the top of her insides. Not only does this feel really good, but it gives you a chance at hitting the G-spot. If you do hit it, you should be able to tell by your partner’s reaction. And, trust me, you need to find the G-spot sooner or later (sooner the better), and use it to your full advantage. That’s one of the best places to start consistently rubbing when she’s getting close to orgasm.

That’s another thing- try to be consistent. You can vary your angle and fingering style sometimes during the session, but don’t change every three seconds. And when she gets close to orgasm, DON’T change unless she tells you to. Get a little rougher and pump your finger a little further into her, great. Go faster, wonderful. But DON’T decide “Hey, maybe if I completely change my angle and rotate my finger THIS way” when she’s near the edge- every time you switch, it sort of knocks her orgasm back a bit, and that can be really frustrating for her. And most importantly, when she’s getting closer to orgasm, if she says for you to do something, DO IT. Harder, faster, rougher, whatever- she knows what she needs, and it’ll help her orgasm along a lot if you just listen to her and do what she says. This is for HER, after all.

Also, pay attention to more than her genital area. I know it takes a lot of concentration to finger a girl, especially when you’re new at it, and so you sort of forget to do anything else, but it makes the girl feel better and increases her general body sensitivity if you nip at her thighs, rub her stomach or breast with your free hand, do SOMETHING. Mostly, it helps her feel like something more than just genitals to you, and that means a lot to her general pleasure. You may even want to stop every now and then (provided she isn’t close to orgasm because that would be just mean) to just hug and kiss her for a minute or two. It would give you both a break and would preserve the intimacy of it all.

You can get a lot of pointers if you ask her to touch herself while you watch, and then pattern your motions after her. In fact, the first few times, you may want to ask her to finger herself or rub her clitoris herself, so that you can take care of just one of those aspects and learn what feels good while watching what she does on herself that feels good in the other area.

Talk to her during the act. Tell her that she’s pretty, ask her if what you’re doing feels good, tell her you want her and that you like doing this, that sort of thing. That helps keep the intimacy going, making her feel like a person and not just a vagina, and also reassures her that you aren’t bored. Many women are sort of paranoid that the guy isn’t having any fun at all- make sure she knows that you are. Even after you are done, fully clothed, and alone, make sure to remind her just how much you enjoyed doing that for her.

Especially right after she has reached orgasm, don’t pull your finger out suddenly. Unless it’s part of hard, fast thrusts (and usually even then), your finger should stay in or come out very gradually. Ripping it out all at once can be very uncomfortable or painful for a girl. Sliding it very slowly can even serve to tease, and make sure you look her in the eyes and grin when you do this. She should love it.

Mostly, it depends on communication with your partner about her needs and wants. Some girls like it rougher or faster than others. Some like more vaginal stimulation, others want just clitoral. It boils down to reading your partner’s reaction and asking her to help teach you what she wants. Be willing and ready to learn, and you’ll do fine.