Sex Videos and Tutorial

IF you want to share oral sex with your partner but wonder how to go about it, you first need to be sure this is something you feel comfortable with and really want to do for your own pleasure as well as your partner’s.

Don’t feel pressured into trying it just because your partner likes the idea or says everyone does it.

Many couples find it one of the most pleasurable ways of giving and receiving sexual stimulation, but the relationship between you has to be very close and loving for this very intimate form of contact to feel right.

If you’re at all unsure, then it will help you to read my free leaflet Anxious About Oral Sex?

If you’re the one who’s keen to try oral sex but your partner isn’t, then read my free leaflet Tensions Over Oral Sex? before putting on any more pressure.

Assuming you are both equally keen to enjoy oral sex and just lack the know-how, here’s a practical guide, starting with giving a woman oral sex.

Many women enjoy this more than intercourse and a man who gives good oral sex can be a wonderful lover.

Even so, as I mentioned before, you do need to feel comfortable together, and this is usually going to be within a secure, loving relationship, where you both trust each other.

Before getting started it’s a good idea to wash all over, including all the nooks and crannies, with mild soap and rinse off with plenty of water.

Women are often slower to become aroused than men, so she will most likely need lots of loving foreplay for her to start getting aroused – so don’t rush. It’s not a race.

A sensuous massage can be a good way of getting her in the mood for exciting foreplay.

For the first time, it is a good idea if you can have at least a low light on, so that you can see the layout and have a better idea of what you are doing.

Most women find their clitoris very sensitive and you need to know where this is.

It is the small pea-sized bit tucked in front of the vagina.

You will need to use lots of saliva to keep the area moist but you can start with licking the entire area.

Use your hand to caress her thighs, her breasts or her stomach to add to the pleasure for her.

Gentle sucking will feel great. A word of warning, though, never blow into her vagina, as this can be harmful.

Ask her whether she likes it slow or fast, gentle or firm, but keep up a steady rhythm, as women need continual stimulation to reach climax.

You can flatten your tongue to stimulate larger areas, or use the tip to concentrate on more specific areas.

You will be able to tell when she is near orgasm by her groans of pleasure, or by her rhythmic movements.

At this point it is important not to move away from the clitoris.

Increase the pressure slightly or go a little quicker.

As she is actually orgasming, go back to slow gentle strokes, but continue to cover the whole clitoral area by using your whole tongue.

Most women find that their clitoris is unbearably sensitive after orgasm, so she may push your head away and put her hand down to cover the area.

Don’t worry. This doesn’t mean she has not enjoyed it, exactly the opposite, in fact.

Now a guide for a woman wanting to give a man oral sex.

It is usually best to start with the man on his back and you leaning over him. This will give you most control and help you build up your confidence.

Remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.

Start off with something simple, to get you in the mood.

Hold his penis at the base with one hand, and lick up each side several times as if it were an ice-cream cone.

Then you could form your mouth into an 0 and gently slide your lips up and down.

Don’t rush, going slowly gives him a lot of pleasure. Try sucking and licking with different pressures and at different speeds.

A variation is to swirl your tongue round the top as your head comes up. He will love this.

Changing movements can stop you getting tired too quickly.

The butterfly flick is different and gives your lips a rest.

This involves flicking your tongue gently along the ridge on the underside, and ending with several rapid flicks at the point where the head joins the main shaft.

This will be absolute heaven for him.

You don’t have to give oral sex non-stop.

Pausing from time to time to caress and fondle him all over can tease him to further pleasure.

There is no rule about whether your man should climax in your mouth or not, and if you are not happy with it, then fine.

Make it clear from the start, so that there is no misunderstanding.

Never blow into his penis by the way, as this can be dangerous.

Oral sex is not completely safe sex, I’m afraid.

It would be a very unlikely – though not impossible - way to pass on HIV, but you should avoid oral sex if there is the possibility of one of you having any sort of sexually transmitted infection, being HIV positive, and if you have any cuts or scratches around the mouth or genital area.

If one of you has cold sores, you could give the other genital herpes, and the other way about – oral sex is now a very common method of transmission of herpes - and it is certainly possible to develop gonorrhoea in the throat.

There has even been some research suggesting that giving unprotected oral sex to a partner with HPV (genital warts, which can be almost invisible to the naked eye) can lead to mouth cancer.

You can use a dental dam, a thin square of latex, to protect against infection but, if there’s any chance one of you may be suffering from an infection of any kind, you shouldn’t have sexual contact without getting expert treatment and advice.

The best place is probably your local genito-urinary or special clinic, which will be attached to a local hospital.

And just to be clear, if a man gives or receives oral sex from a girl under 16, he could be charged with an offence.

Similarly an older woman with a younger lad might be liable to prosecution.

If I can be of further help, or you’d like one of the other free leaflets I mentioned, just let me know.

EVERY day I hear from men and – more commonly - women who have been upset by discovering their partner has been using pornography of one form or another, or going in for sex chats over the phone or on-line, perhaps using a webcam.

Usually they have a pretty good idea their partner has been masturbating then too, and they feel rejected and disgusted. If you see sex as inseparable from love, you are appalled to find your partner apparently preferring a remote stranger.

It also triggers off all sorts of anxieties - that you are too fat, too flat-chested, too dull sexually or got too small a penis compared with these men or women your partner so clearly finds more sexually exciting.

It is important to keep this worry in proportion. Surveys suggest that most men and some women, even those in happy and sexually satisfying relationships, masturbate at least sometimes. Most men see pornographic or erotic material at least sometimes.

Men seem to enjoy such material more than women, partly because they respond more readily to visual stimuli than women. Women are believed to find caresses and loving words more arousing, though research has shown that women are usually more turned on by seeing pornography than they care to admit, even to themselves.

Masturbating occasionally using erotic material should not threaten a relationship but some men – and it does tend to be men rather than women –become seriously addicted to pornography.

Any woman will feel hurt and rejected if her man repeatedly lets her discover him involved in looking at pornography alone or phoning a sex line, if he knows she finds it upsetting or threatening.

And if it is happening so often that she is continually aware of it, then something has gone wrong in their relationship.

Most commonly it is that the man finds real intimacy a strain. He may think what he wants is more exciting sex, but what is often his real problem is that he holds himself back emotionally when making love with his partner - or indeed finds closeness such a strain that he has started avoiding making love and finds it easier to become aroused when he hasn’t got to cope with another human being at all and can just manipulate his fantasies at will.

It can be a further development of this sort of problem when a man becomes hooked on really unpleasant hard porn. It may be a way of passively expressing anger against women - probably dating back to his mother rather than relating to his present partner.

It may be that he is so cut off from his emotional and sexual responses that it takes harder and harder material to stir a reaction. This seems to be an increasingly serious problem with internet pornography where it is so easy to access harder materials with the click of a mouse.

In this case, his partner has to be clear that it is not that she is unattractive or undesirable. It is his problem - he needs help to get in touch with his own emotions and sexuality.

Talking about it, trying not to blame each other but simply understanding each other’s feelings, should help. Seeing a Relate counsellor could work wonders (0300 100 1234, www.relate.org.uk)

As well as delving into causes, you need to take some practical measures too.

It’s comparatively straight-forward to avoid sex shops, buying magazines and DVDs. Home computer use is more tricky because so many of us need it for our work these days, or children need to be online for schoolwork.

But you can agree sensible time limits for being on the internet, and move the computer into a shared area of the home. In Loco Parentis is an internet safety and anti-grooming software programme you can download which enables you to monitor internet use and block anything unsuitable.

It’s aimed at parents monitoring their offspring but it could help a couple trying hard to rebuild trust over this issue. It costs £19.99 with a free 10-day trial from www.ilp4parents.com.

If the pornography that interests the man is possibly illegal, containing images of child abuse, it is very important not to see this as something you should try to tolerate but to intervene.

It is now against the law for images of children under the age 18 to be used. Children are actually suffering abuse in order to create those images.

If you know of anyone viewing such material or even producing it, you should contact CEOP - the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (www.ceop.gov.uk) who provide a virtual police station for reporting such abuse. If you prefer to make a report anonymously you can call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

You can also report the images you suspect to be illegal, for example, depicting children being abused or containing criminally obscene adult pornography, to the Internet Watch Foundation at www.iwf.org.uk who work to get potentially illegal content removed from the internet.

Of course some take to using ordinary pornography, not because they have any out-of-the-ordinary desires but because their partner is repeatedly unresponsive. That doesn’t necessarily mean it is her fault - he could be a clumsy lover - but it does mean that it isn’t his addiction to pornography that is the problem but whatever has gone wrong in their sex life.

That is a whole new subject so, if that’s your problem, why don’t you write to me? I can send practical advice on every sexual problem from men who climax too soon to women who never reach orgasm. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.

The Early Signs of Pregnancy Symptoms Checklist

The following are common early signs of pregnancy. However, symptoms of pregnancy are not the same for every woman. In fact, your own symptoms may actually be different from one pregnancy to another.Pregnancy symptoms can also vary in their intensity, frequency and duration. The following early signs and symptoms of pregnancy checklist is only a guideline.

Also keep in mind that many of the earliest pregnancy symptoms can appear similar to routine pre-menstrual discomforts.

If you are not trying to conceive, you might think it is just your period coming on again, when in reality you may be experiencing very early signs of pregnancy.

If you are trying to conceive, you may be frustrated when you think you may be experiencing early symptoms of pregnancy but they are only pre-menstrual symptoms.

You will experience a wide variety of physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. These may include any or all of the pregnancy symptoms listed below.

Although each of these are considered typical early symptoms of pregnancy, they may happen earlier or later than the order in which they appear on the following list.

Remember, some of the earliest signs of pregancy may be subtle, not obvious. Whenever there is any question that you might be experiencing early signs of pregnancy, do a home pregnancy test.

Early signs of pregnancy: #1

Missed Period

Perhaps the most obvious early symptom of pregnancy is when you’ve missed your period. This possible sign of pregnancy is often what causes women to search for more details about the other pregnancy symptoms.

Some women might only experience a much lighter period compared to their usual. You might not experience any of the pregnancy signs listed below until around the time you notice you’ve missed your monthly cycle.

Early signs of pregnancy: #2

Just “Feeling” Pregnant

This early pregnancy symptom may be the reason why you are checking this list right now. Many women believe they have an intuition about pregnancy signs. Their intuition is often proven correct.

Maybe you just feel different; tired, moody, queasy, lightheaded. You may also have heartburn, constipation, or find yourself making more frequent trips to the restroom. Perhaps you feel a dull ache or stiffness in your lower back, you have sore breasts or they seem overly sensitive, or you are simply not feeling like your usual self.

Early signs of pregnancy: #3

Breast Tenderness

One of the very noticeable early signs of pregnancy is tender, swollen, somewhat sore breasts. You may notice this pregnancy sign at bedtime when you are trying to get comfortable and go to sleep, when exercising or showering, or when getting dressed.

When you become pregnant, your body begins preparing your breasts for producing milk and breastfeeding. Hormones start increasing. In addition to breast tenderness and swelling, your nipples may feel sore or extra sensitive. Some women notice their nipples darken in color.

Your breasts play an important role in childbirth. They are naturally sensitive and become far more so when pregnant. This is one of the most obvious early symptoms of pregnancy.

Early signs of pregnancy: #4

Fatigue

One of the earliest pregnancy signs for some women may be fatigue and exhaustion. You may start going to bed sooner, or find it harder than usual to get out of bed in the morning. If you are working, by noon you may feel like you need to lie down. Exercising seems like too much effort. A simple activity like shopping may leave you feeling wiped out and lightheaded. This early pregnancy symptom is caused by all of the changes that your body is going through, plus the increasing levels of hormones.

If you know you are pregnant, try to take frequent rests or naps of 15 minutes to a half-hour whenever possible. Explain to your family, friends and coworkers that you need these naps. Ask for their help in blocking out rest times for you.

Early signs of pregnancy: #5

Frequent Urination

An early symptom of pregnancy that others may notice you experiencing is frequent trips to the restroom. Your family or friends may comment that you seem to be going off to the ladies room quite often lately. One cause of this pregnancy symptom is that the swelling uterus can put pressure on your bladder.

Also, pregnancy causes extra body fluids to be processed by your kidneys and bladder. That means more trips to the restroom. Sorry to have to say this, but this symptom of pregnancy may remain constant for nine months.

Early signs of pregnancy: #6

Nausea

One of these pregnancy signs of queasiness, nausea and vomiting can take you by surprise when you least expect it. These early pregnancy symptoms may come as soon as a week into the pregnancy. Many women experience nausea in the morning when they have coffee and/or eat something on an empty stomach. This is known as morning sickness (see below). Other women notice nausea in the afternoon or evening. Others feel queasy all day.

This pregnancy symptom may often be helped by eating smaller, more frequent snack size meals. Many women say saltine crackers and milk seem to be helpful. This is an early symptom of pregnancy that seems to show up about a month after pregnancy has begun. It tends to level off once you are into your second trimester and your body adjusts to all the many changes it is going through.

Early signs of pregnancy: #7

Dizziness and/or Fainting

One of the more surprising pregnancy signs is dizziness and/or fainting. Going up stairs, standing up suddenly after sitting for a time, or just having to stand in line at the grocery store can make you feel light headed. You might even faint. As the uterus swells it compresses arteries in your legs. This can drop your blood pressure and make you dizzy.

A common early sign of pregnancy is that you may feel faint when you have gone a while without eating. This is due to low blood sugar, because that is your baby’s main source of food. You want to eat frequent, healthy snacks to keep your blood sugar up. Stock up on portable lunch box foods you can take with you. Such as apples, bananas, grapes, yogurt cups, carrots and celery, cheese and crackers, small cartons of milk, juice boxes, granola bars, boxes of raisins, etc.

Early signs of pregnancy: #8

Food Cravings, or Aversions to Foods

A well-known cliché is the pregnancy sign-symptom of craving certain foods or unusual combinations of foods. For example, one woman said she craved midnight snacks of warm peach pie topped with vanilla ice cream. Everyone has a funny story about food cravings.

Taking a good pre-natal vitamin supplement and a pure fish oil capsule may ease some cravings and help prevent extra weight gain (see below) … and of course it is doctor recommended for the health of your baby.

Less well known but equally common pregnancy signs are aversions to certain foods. You may find that some foods you previously enjoyed are no longer appetizing. One woman told us she had always liked pizza, but couldn’t stand it at all while she was expecting. Just the smell of it made her feel nausea. This problem may come and go for some women. For others it could last throughout pregnancy.

Early signs of pregnancy: #9

Sensitivity to Aromas

Another related early symptom of pregnancy is a heightened sensitivity to aromas. Even a favorite aroma, such as the smell of a food or perfume, can make you gag. The smell of fresh mowed grass, the smell of a gas station, smells of various foods, household cleaners, perfumes, cigarette smoke, etc., can all cause you to feel nauseated (see nausea symptom above). This is thought to be yet another side effect of the estrogen that is flooding your body.

Early signs of pregnancy: #10

Morning Sickness

This pregnancy symptom is well known, and it is related to the nausea symptom. It can be caused by a variety of factors. Your body is craving food and you have not eaten all night so your tummy feels queasy. Your body has way more hormones coursing through it than normal and this can . You are sensitive to aromas and foods, so your morning coffee may not agree with you. The usual breakfast you typically have may not settle well in your stomach during this time. One woman usually had a scone along with a coffee late’ for breakfast, but found that during pregnancy it made her feel sick. She changed to tea and toast and that worked well for her. Each woman is different and will have different foods that may or may not contribute to morning sickness.

Early signs of pregnancy: #11

Heartburn and/or Constipation

This pregnancy symptom is caused by the uterus starting to swell and pushing against the stomach and other organs as it grows. Also, increasing levels of hormones may slow down digestion and bowel functions to allow the body to absorb as much vitamins, minerals and nutrients as possible from foods. Taking a quality prenatal multi-vitamin-mineral supplement is important to help your body get the nutrients it needs for your growing baby.

The slower emptying of the stomach may also cause the release of increased stomach acid to aid digestion, leading to a feeling of heartburn. Soda crackers and sparkling water can help. Smaller more frequent meals are easier to digest. Drink plenty of water and eat fruits, vegetables and perhaps some raisin and bran cereal to help regularity. Some daily vitamin formulas also contain digestive enzymes (from pineapple and papaya fruits). These can help with digestion.

Ask your doctor before taking any kind of antacids as some contain aluminum and should be avoided. These two pregnancy symptoms can last throughout your term.

Early signs of pregnancy: #12

Mood Swings and Irritability

With all of these symptoms of pregnancy to deal with, along with raging hormones, is it any wonder you may experience some mood swings and irritability? There is also the emotional adjustment period to your new responsibility. Your world has changed. Even when your pregnancy is carefully planned, it is normal for your mind to suddenly be filled with questions about the timing, your career, finances, insurance, labor and delivery, motherhood, even the future costs of college.

It is perfectly normal to feel mixed emotions, excitement and depression, joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. Your partner may be very confused by this and may not seem to be supportive. Explain that your mood swings are very normal signs of pregnancy and that you need support and understanding.

You are the one doing all the hard work here and it is not asking too much for your partner to be patient, loving and to have plenty of hugs and kind words of support ready when you need them. Most fathers-to-be want very much to be supportive, they just need instructions. No one has ever told them anything about pregnancy symptoms. It is all a mystery to them.

We encourage you to email or print-out this early symptom of pregnancy checklist so your partner can read it too.

This early symptom of pregnancy may decrease in the second trimester. Meanwhile get plenty of sleep, eat right, take your prenatal vitamins and get some moderate exercise by taking short walks.

Early signs of pregnancy: #13

Higher body temperature

One of the pregnancy symptoms that takes a while to gauge is higher than usual body temperature. You may have been feeling a little bit warm lately and wondered if you are coming down with a cold or something. Take your temperature and see if it is higher than it normally would be.

If you’ve been trying to conceive and hoping to get pregnant (it’s a tough job but somebody has to do it), your doctor may already have suggested that you keep a record of your body temperature every day. If your temperature is higher than usual and it stays high for two weeks in a row, something is obviously going on with your body. You may be pregnant (or you may have a low grade fever). Prolonged periods of increased temperature are a cause to seek your doctor’s opinion.

Early signs of pregnancy: #14

Low Back Pain

Early pregnancy symptoms of low back pain can be “a real pain,” literally. This low back pain is caused by several factors. First is your weight change. You gain some weight because you are pregnant, your uterus gets bigger, and your baby grows larger every week. Next, your posture and torso are thrown out of alignment. This weight is mostly in the front of your torso, which pulls on your back. It is like wearing a backpack on your front instead of your back. This changes your posture and puts a strain on your back.

Lack of your typical night’s sleep is another factor. You may be laying on your side and trying to get comfortable. The weight of your womb is pulling on your back muscles as you lay there too. Get a maternity pillow as that can help make you more comfortable.

Finally, your hormones and body changes have some effect too. Your body is getting ready for birth and so some of your joints and ligaments are loosening up to make delivery possible. All of these changes added together can cause the early pregnancy symptoms of low back pain. It is estimated that about half of all women will experience this pregnancy symptom.

Early signs of pregnancy: #15

Implantation Bleeding

One of the less known pregnancy symptoms is the slight bleeding and spotting that can be caused when the fertilized egg begins to implant itself into the uterus. This is known as “implantation bleeding” and it usually takes place between 3 to 6 days after fertilization.

Once the egg becomes implanted in the uterus - congratulations, you are no longer wondering about pregnancy symptoms, you are indeed pregnant. At this point you might notice a little bit of red or pink spotting. Not all women experience implantation bleeding so it is not considered one of the most obvious pregnancy signs.

Early signs of pregnancy: #16

A Positive Pregnancy Test

If you are worrying about possible early symptoms of pregnancy, you can put your mind at ease with a pregnancy test. More than just a pregnancy symptom, this is scientific proof positive of whether you are expecting a baby or not.

Pregnancy tests work best if you wait to take them until at least a day or two after you miss your period. Even if the pregnancy test result is negative you should try it again a few days later to be sure. The best pregnancy tests are the ones done by your doctor or medical clinic. However there are some very high quality at home tests available too.

Early signs of pregnancy symptoms: #17

Bloating and Weight Gain

Yes some unavoidable weight gain is also a sign. Your clothes are getting tighter, you are feeling bloated, the weight showing on the scale is going up… you are getting bigger and that is simply part of being pregnant.

You want to keep your weight gain to the normal amount for a healthy pregnancy, and not let it get out of hand to where you pack on a lot of unnecessary pounds that will be hard to lose later. Some tips on weight control can be found on this Pregnancy Without Pounds page.

Also, your odd food cravings may not be as strong if you are taking your prenatal vitamins and fish oil capsules. The cravings may be due to your body’s need for special nutrition. The importance of pre-natal vitamins and fish oil capsules

Your doctor will tell you that if you are trying to conceive, or you believe you may be experiencing early pregnancy symptoms, you should be taking daily pre-natal vitamins. Vitamin supplements offer support for women trying to conceive, for your health and for the health of your baby.

Your body is under great nutritional demands to feed the growing little person inside you. For example, the March of Dimes encourages women to take a multi-vitamin containing folic acid, (a B vitamin).

Folic acid can help prevent birth defects. Help your body and your baby’s body get the nutrition it needs. Take a quality pre-natal vitamin with folic acid just as soon as you notice the first common early pregnancy sign.

Many pregnant women are now also taking a high quality pharmaceutical grade pure fish oil supplement. This gives you the important nutrients of DHA and omega-3 for healthy babies.

It has been shown in clinical studies that diets rich in omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil which provides DHA, will help to provide nutritional support to a baby’s visual, nerve and brain function.

Fish oil capsules vary in quality. Distilled pharmaceutical grade fish oil is thought by many to be the very best quality. Don’t take any chances on the quality of some “mystery fish” oil … the very best kind we’ve ever found in our endless research is this amazing best quality fish oil.

Warning: Your doctor will probably say, do not take flaxseed oil during pregnancy. Don’t try to get omega-3 that way. Get it from fish oil instead. Flaxseed oil can have an effect upon estrogen and hormones, like soy can. It is for postmenopausal women, not pregnant women!

Read our information about flaxseed oil and pregnancy before taking any flax seed oil.

Talk to your doctor. Be very careful to avoid most herbs and supplements when pregnant or nursing. Most Moms only take prenatal supplements and the best quality fish oil pills. Always get the advice and approval of your doctor before taking any supplement during pregnancy, breastfeeding or when experiencing pregnancy symptoms.

We hear a lot these days about how people can and should make love, but there are virtually no rules for good sex. It isn’t compulsory to have an orgasm. As long as a woman is left feeling satisfied, neither she nor her partner should feel that they have in any way failed because she hasn’t had an orgasm. Sex is for your pleasure, not to pass some test or keep up with the Jones’s.

Many women, however, while they enjoy intercourse with their partner, never or rarely reach orgasm, and are left feeling dissatisfied as a result.

Women’s problems over orgasm vary. Some women have never experienced an orgasm at all. This is often because they were brought up to think of sex as something not quite nice.

Parents worried about daughters getting pregnant may keep impressing on them that they mustn’t get carried away. It is small wonder that, when they have a partner, they can’t suddenly undo all those lessons to their subconscious.

Before a woman who has never experienced an orgasm can help her partner to help her to climax, she has to learn for herself what pleases her. Sex is a positive pleasure, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying it, even when you are alone.

Having given yourself permission to enjoy your sexuality, you have to find out what turns you on, explore the effect of different caresses of the genital area. There is nothing wrong with self-stimulation - in fact it is a basic part of the treatment prescribed by sex therapists.

It’s not stimulation of the vagina, by the way, but of the clitoris that leads to orgasm for most women - the clitoris is the little peak you can feel in the front of the vagina.

When you have an orgasm it feels like an internal throbbing. The intensity varies widely. It can be fierce and wild, it may be quiet and sensuous. The common denominator is it certainly should feel pleasurable.

Some women learn how to masturbate, perhaps as teenagers, but find they are unable to reach a climax with their partner, even if he stimulates them in a similar way. The most likely cause of this is a variation on the inhibited feelings mentioned before. Their subconscious will not let them admit to anyone else that they are enjoying sex.

Sharing regular sessions of all-over massage can help a couple start communicating physically and sexually. Use a little cream or oil, massage and stroke one another all over. Say what feels good and what not-so-good.

When the time feels right, you can begin showing one another how to give the most pleasure by stroking and massaging the sexual areas, too. The only rule is that you should both enjoy it.

Modern-style vibrators designed especially to suit women’s sexual responses can make a terrific difference. Check out www.emotionalbliss.com, www.durex.com and www.passion8.co.uk. The Vielle range (www.vielle.co.uk), includes a non-electrical clitoral stimulator, lubricant and stimulating gel and is widely available in pharmacies, Boots and Tesco.

Some women can climax when masturbating or when stimulated in some similar way by their partner, but cannot reach orgasm during intercourse. In fact, this is normal, as only a minority of women do climax during intercourse. Most reach orgasm through other stimulation.

var RStag = “”; try{ RStag = segQS; } catch(e){ RStag = “”; } document.write(”); Many couples have perfectly happy ways of making love which involve the man stimulating the woman until she climaxes, either before or after intercourse.

It really doesn’t matter how or when a woman reaches her climax, as long as she enjoys it, but if a couple feel that they very much would like the woman to climax during intercourse, they may find a change in position will help or he can caress her at the same time.

The vagina has comparatively few nerve endings and the clitoris has many. Basically, few women can possibly climax unless they are receiving some form of clitoral stimulation. Of course, it is important for the man to be sure that the woman is really aroused before he attempts intercourse, so they must share lots of loving foreplay first.

Also the man has to be able to sustain intercourse for a reasonable length of time, since it is important to keep stimulating a woman right up to and during orgasm. If premature ejaculation is a problem, however, let me know because I can send you a free leaflet on how to solve the problem.

Reaching a climax needs some muscle tension and you can give this a nudge in the right direction. You need to have at least half an hour of foreplay to be sure the woman is fully aroused. Then she shouldn’t try to relax but tense the pelvic-floor muscle (if you’re unsure how to do this, my free leaflet on increasing sexual sensation explains). If she then arches her back and puts her head back, this gets her body in the right position to reach climax, as long as her partner carries on pleasuring her.

Assuming a couple feel free to experiment with what feels good to them, then they have a good chance of discovering what will lead to the woman achieving full sexual satisfaction pretty frequently, if not every time.

However, some couples experiment with different positions and techniques and still draw a blank. Too much alcohol can dry up the vaginal secretions and reduce the blood flow to the sex organs. This in turn can make sex more painful and will affect a woman’s ability to have an orgasm.

Loss of orgasm can also be linked with major changes in a woman’s life such as childbirth or the menopause. Depression can severely damp down sexual feelings. It could be that she’s had a bad sexual experience in the past or that there’s some problem in her relationship with her partner, and unaided you can’t stop it getting in the way.

For more details about the help available, or if you want a step-by-step explanation of the self-help therapy suggested earlier, do write for my free leaflet on solving orgasm problems which explains all this and gives contacts for finding expert sex therapy.

Perhaps the best testimonial I ever had was from one woman who said that she had managed to achieve her first ever orgasm in 16 years of marriage through following the suggestions in that leaflet!